Smallville, Superman: The Oestrogen Years
by FlyingFlee
Summary: Clark and Lana come to an interesting realisation about WHO they are. Clana
1. Roses come with thorns attached

Disclaimer: I do not own Smallville in any way, shape or form.no suing!  
Part 1: Roses come with thorns attached  
  
"For once just be honest with yourself, I know why Chloe was kissing you, but why were you kissing her back?"  
  
Clark just stares at me blankly; does he think I'll pick up a reason by osmosis? More staring, now he throws a pained look into the mix just for good measure. This is clearly getting us nowhere, "I have to lock up" I tell him; hopefully he'll get the message - no truth, no excuse, no forgiveness. More pained looks, fidgeting, finally he puts his rose down on the counter and walks out leaving me some much needed time to think things through.  
  
I don't understand why he would do this, we were so happy then he goes and makes out with Chloe, here, in the Talon of all places! Did he really think I wouldn't find out? I think that was possibly one of the most painful moments in my life. ok, doesn't quite compare to seeing your parents squished by a flaming ball of fire, but still, comes close.  
  
I turn to pick up the rose, he could have at least come up with an excuse rather than just staring at me. I mean, would it kill him to say, oh I dunno, "Pete tricked me into smoking weed". At least then, it would show he cared enough to lie rather than just stand there like the insensitive dumbass that he is. Commit to memory: Clark = insensitive dumbass. Every time he does something wrong remember "Clark = insensitive dumbass", every time he flakes out without excuse, remember "Clark = insensitive dumbass", then I might be saved some of the pain from expecting too much from him.  
  
I take a sniff of the rose, ahh bittersweet. If only he knew how much I really cared. I turn to throw the rose into the bin along with all out other memories.  
  
"Ah Crap!" I utter as my finger shoots to my lips. Nice way to show how much you care Clark. Give the girl a rose with thorns on. I personally doubt he was going for the symbolic 'take the good along with the bad' meaning, more like the 'Clark = insensitive dumbass' meaning. The blood seems to have stopped trickling from my finger as I hold it up to the light to regard the most recent scar courtesy of our good friend Mr. Kent.  
  
"Sometimes I just wish I knew what it's like to be Clark Kent" I whisper to the deserted Talon. "Guess I'll never know." ' Ha! Yeah, cos I'm not a mysterious guy with trust issues', I add in my head. Oh well, time I was getting back to Chloe's, that's gonna be a lil uncomfortable from now on I guess, it's only a matter of time before she finds out what she did. I know she wasn't in control of her actions but still; I can't help resenting her for it just a bit. With that, Lana turns off the Talon lights, exits and locks up for the night, hopping into her truck for the quiet drive back to the Sullivan residence.  
  
~~~ AN: It's only short but some feedback would be nice. I actually have the whole thing written out but I thought posting a new part every few days would be better to gauge people's reactions 


	2. Where did those come from?

Disclaimer: I do not own Smallville in any way, shape or form.besides, I'm poor so it's not worth your money to sue!  
  
AN: This may, no will, get VERY confusing.  
  
Part 2: Where did those come from?  
  
- Morning, the Sullivan's -  
  
Light poured through the pink curtains into Lana's room.  
  
"Come on Lana, time to get up, you don't usually sleep this late. We have to be quick otherwise we'll be late for school" Chloe stood over Lana, shaking her shoulder until Lana gave out a groan of recognition and just as quickly as Chloe had arrived, she was gone.  
  
"Ugh, I hate mornings" Lana grumbled to herself as she slowly emerged from under the sheets, welcomed by pink light. 'Whoa! Wait a minute, why was Chloe waking me up?' realisation dawned on Clark. Unless we did something last night that I'm really gonna regret. didn't she call me Lana? "Snap out of it Kent" Clark told herself sternly as she blearily checked the vicinity for red rocks just in case.  
  
"Who you talking to Lana?" Chloe called from down the hallway, returning to Lana's room. Poking her head around the door, "Shower's free, I swear you're going crazy Lana"  
  
"Yeah crazy. I'll be right along, just gimme a minute" Chloe exits ruffling her hair with a towel. That sure would explain why I'm sat not only in Lana's room but in Lana's body. Clark peered under the covers at his new body, a smile spread across his newly feminine face "This could be interesting." No! Stop it! Bad Clark! Clark mentally scolded himself, this is serious, not just an excuse to get an access all areas pass to Lana's body. still I'm going to have to get dressed at some point and who's fault is it if I happen to see something that maybe I shouldn't?  
  
A sudden epiphany struck Clark: "If I'm here, that means Lana's."  
  
- Kent Farm -  
  
This is strange, definitely strange - Wow, understatement! I, Lana Lang wake up in Clark Kent's bed and not in the nice way, in the way that involves a muscular chest and boxer shorts. Lana pokes her stomach a few times, hmm, Clark really is a man of steel (AN: I'm really sorry, I couldn't help myself). Lana got up and walked over to the mirror hanging on the closet door, "Huh, brings a whole new meaning to being in love with your reflection". Lana pulled on a red flannel shirt, muttering to herself, "It's the closest he has to pink" and a pair of jeans.  
  
Martha heard her son's feet on the stairs, "Clark, you sure are up early for you, you usually sleep for another 30 minutes."  
  
"Morning Mrs. mom," letting out a slight chuckle, "If I slept for another half hour, I'd only have 5 minutes to get to school, no wonder I'm always late"  
  
Looking at her son strangely "That's why you run, son. You feeling ok?"  
  
Jonathon walks through the front door, "Clark I wasn't expecting you up, but now that you are, could you do these chores before you go?" handing Clark a piece of paper. Lana looks down at it 'Mend fence, muck out stables, feed cattle' Lana stopped part way down the list, puzzled, "Uh, dad, how am I supposed to do all this before I go?"  
  
"Well, you are a little faster and stronger than most people Clark" Jonathon walks over to Clark and claps him on the back, looking knowingly at him.  
  
Still puzzled, Lana walked out into the yard and began jogging towards the Loft. Suddenly she felt a gust of wind and she was at the perimeter of the farm. "Whoa shit! What the hell was that?" 


	3. Surprises

Thanks for all the replies, hope I can get some more soon, hint, hint.  
Disclaimer: I'm poor and don't own Smallville so don't sue. This is story is mine, MINE I TELL'S YA!!  
Part 3: Surprises  
  
Lana slowly pivoted around and saw the dust cloud rising behind her. She just stood there, stunned. "I-I have to g-get to sch-school" she stuttered. At least it shouldn't take too long, she added glibly. What the hell is Clark, anyway? Hmm, looks like I might not have to wait for Clark to spill for me to find out his secret. I should probably talk to Clark about this.I mean it would just be wrong for me to play it out of his parents without him knowing wouldn't it. no, resist the temptation, you're Lana, you do the good, honest, right thing. So, I guess if I'm here, then Clark must be in me, I mean, my body so all I have to do is find me - Lana. Right.  
  
Lana started jogging in the direction of the highschool and before she knew it, she was running at something that must have been close to 200mph. She came to a sudden halt in a field next to the building, better walk the rest of the way, don't want any questions.  
  
- Hallway -  
  
Chloe walks abreast Lana through the usual herd of soon to be Highschool Dropouts. Lana just stares out along the corridor, looking like she's searching for someone. "Looking for someone, Lana?"  
  
"What? Huh? Yeah, I really need to speak to Clark"  
  
"I thought you weren't speaking to Clark the insensitive dumbass?"  
  
"Hey! I resent that!"  
  
"Jeez, sorry. That's what you were calling him all evening, I figured that was his new moniker. The rate you were going I thought you were going to start printing t-shirts, you even tried to get me to investigate a meteor rock related illness that would cause a raised stupidity level in the male species," Chloe laughs quietly to herself, "we decided that the condition wasn't exclusive to Clark, just male stupidity in general."  
  
Clark was getting angry at the insults that he was powerless to defend himself from, without of course exposing that the Lana she was talking to was in fact Clark. "I don't see why you're so chatty about one of his less shining moments, it was you that he was making out with, after all" he spat at her.  
  
Chloe stopped dead in her tracks, her face pained and puzzled. "What? I thought you said you didn't recognise the girl? I mean ME? I would never hurt you like that."  
  
"You didn't seem so concerned about my feelings at the time." Lana stopped and looked at the ground. Shit, shit, SHIT! Clark thought to himself, Lana didn't want to hurt Chloe, CRAP! Clark the oh so aptly named insensitive dumbass strikes again, I see. Need to recover, need an excuse, I don't want to ruin Lana and Chloe's friendship, damn! Why does my mind go blank at the most inappropriate moments? Come on Clark, think boy! You would have thought you got this down to a tee the amount of times you've had to get out of a situation with Lana. wait no, you never have a good excuse. Note to self: practice making up half believable excuses. "Um, Chloe, I er, I'm sorry. I didn't get much sleep, I'm just kinda ratty this morning. Don't worry, I don't blame you, it was the parasite that made you do it," Clark gritted his teeth valiantly, "it was all Clark's fault"  
  
"Yeah, the parasite", Chloe mumbled unconvincingly. Damn! Why can't I remember?! Probably the one time in my life that I get to make out with Clark Kent and I forget. Nice going Chlo. But, wait, it's not like I forced him to kiss me, so I guess this means he still has feelings for me.HA! They don't call me an investigative reporter for nothing. Score, Chloe:1, Lana:0. "Uh, Lana, I have, um, I just remembered, I have to go finish something up at the Torch."  
  
Before Clark could utter another word, Chloe was jogging in the opposite direction down the hallway. Clark smiled to himself, well, she seemed to buy that, guess I'm not as bad at thinking on my feet as I thought I was.  
  
- Torch Office -  
  
Chloe stands over a printer, hands on hips, pouting.  
  
"Hey, Chloe. You haven't seen Lana by any chance have you? I've been looking for her for ages, I really need to speak to her"  
  
Chloe spun around upon hearing Clark's voice. "Nope, not since I dragged her out of bed this morning. she was mumbling something about never wanting to speak to you ever again. Ever." Heh, good way to keep him away from Lana, can't have him knowing she was looking for him.  
  
"Oh" Clark's expression was downtrodden.  
  
Chloe saunters over to the doorway, closing the door behind Clark. "I wanted to speak to you, though" Chloe gives her best seductive smile as Clark moves towards the couch.  
  
"Oh yeah?"  
  
"Well I was wondering if maybe you could stop by the Torch during third period. You have that free don't you?" Of course he has it free, I've been memorizing his timetable since 8th Grade. "I was wondering if maybe you could help me with an article about cattle husbandry in the face of meteor rock weirdness." Sounds like something I should do someday, you never know the wide reaching effects of those pesky things.  
  
"Uh, sure I guess so." How the hell am I going to help with that?! Damn, all I want to do is find Clark and get this sorted out. Actually, you know for the number of times he's screwed me over, I think I deserve some explanations, and to have a little fun maybe?  
  
"Alright see you then Clark. Remember avoid Lana, she does not want to speak to you, at all, not a tiny bit." Time to put plan, getplaid into action, she thought with a smirk. 


	4. Pervert

I totally apologise for the major hiatus - I finished this story eons ago but completely forgot about putting it up here. Thanks for the replies.  
  
Part 4: Pervert  
  
- Smallville High, students milling about around the entrance -  
  
"Hey Clark, heads up!"  
  
"What?" Lana spun around just in time to see a football approaching her face at what she assumed to be a very painful speed. Before she even realised what she was doing, a hand shot infront of her face and caught the ball. "Hey Pete, most people just hug or say hi, not try to kill their friends." Hmm, I'm fast, like the whole running faster than a speeding bullet thing I guess.  
  
"Yeah well, you know me Clark. Not like I could even hurt you if I tried though." Pete came up and patted who he assumed to be his buddy Clark on the back. "Look, I know I've said I'm sorry already but I can't help but feel really responsible for the current silence between you and Lana."  
  
Lana's ears perked up at this, maybe Pete could offer an explanation that the mute Clark could not seem to muster last night. Maybe Pete really did trick Clark into smoking pot. "I'm sure it wasn't your fault Pete, I'm Clark, I usually manage to mess things up just fine all by myself." Too true.  
  
"I know you're just saying that cos that's what Lana believes, Clark. I know inside you secretly hate me for what I did to you, messing you up with red meteor rocks just when you finally got your big shot at banging the unblemished Lana Lang, temptress of all your wildest fantasies. Or however you would chose to phrase it, euphemisms and all."  
  
"I don't think about Lana that way!" Or does he? Perv. What's this about red meteors? So Clark is like, one of the meteor freaks that turn up, stalk me and try to win me as their own? Gotta say, he fits the description.  
  
"Sure. So I was thinking of a way to make it up to you and I realised that there is a girls Gym class starting in 10 minutes."  
  
"And."  
  
"Do I have to spell it out for you, Clark. AND you go and have a little peek at them though the locker room wall while they're changing. There are far more lucrative uses for x-ray vision than searching abandoned warehouses for bad guys, you know."  
  
"Bu-"  
  
Pete interrupts, "Don't give me that 'invading people's privacy' crap, I know you saw Lana before and weren't too sad about it then."  
  
That's it. This is waaaayy too strange for me, x-ray vision!!! Clark has officially reached pervert and freak status within the space of one very confusing morning. Let's not forget Chloe. She didn't seem quite herself; guess I'll find out about that soon enough.  
  
Clark and Pete walk together into the one of the many hallways of Smallville High. "Ok, if you're not going to do that, at least go talk to Lana." Pete motions for Clark to go and speak to Lana stood at her locker. "The damsel in distress seems to be having a few problems with her locker."  
  
Figures, Clark doesn't know my combination. Clark starts to stride towards Lana, Pete following at a distance. Suddenly Clark stops and holds his head as if in pain.  
  
"Clark, what's wrong man?" Pete called catching up to him.  
  
"I suddenly got really, really hot." Clark raises his head revealing a glistening sheet of moisture. 


	5. Think nonsexy thoughts!

Part 5: Think non-sexy thoughts!  
  
Realisation dawning on Pete, he quickly hauls Clark into a nearby supply closet. Jocks nearby holler and cat call as he shuts the door and pulls the light switch.  
  
"Think non-sexy thoughts Clark, think non-sexy thoughts. Um, uh, dictionaries, Mrs. Forster naked, cows.Oh I know - Lex's bald shiny head!" Pete began spluttering random things that were meant to calm Clark's 'excitement'.  
  
"It's alright. I think I'm alright now Pete." Another one of Clark's spiralling list of curiosities maybe? And why was I thinking non-sexy thoughts?  
  
Clark looked up at Pete, confused. Pete suddenly bursts out laughing as Clark wipes the sweat from his forehead. "Man! I thought you had the heat vision under control! Must have been seeing Lana with her nose all crinkled up, just how you like it!" Pete gave in to another burst of laughter. "Good thing we didn't go to the Gym after all, could have been a lot of fires to explain if you couldn't keep your horny ass in check!"  
  
More laughter as Lana tries to put together the pieces that Pete had just handed her. Heat vision? Horny ass? Fire? Lana? Nose crinkling? Just how I like it? Have to think 'non-sexy thoughts' to stop it? Whoa!! (how many times have I said that already? I think the more telling question will be how many more times I say it before the day is out.) Clark sets fires with his eyes when he gets horny!? But that means. me. in the hallway. why did that happen? There must be some of Clark still in here otherwise, well otherwise, I'm sick. Who am I calling sick? Clark's the one with Ejacu-vision! Hmm, I like that name, very fitting.  
  
"I've not been feeling too hot today, Pete"  
  
"Try, the opposite!" Pete doubles over with another fit of admittedly feminine giggles. "I'm sorry dude, I'll try to calm down, just don't be getting like that staring at me, I'm gonna get enough hassle from my mates on the football squad about coming out of the closet with you as it is. That little move is really going to hurt my reputation as a Playa' around campus."  
  
Now it was Lana's turn to laugh. "No one thinks of you as a "Playa'" Pete. Just a short dude with a bit of a problem with the ladies. Your ego is still way too large from Spring Formal last year, I swear."  
  
Pete punched Clark on the arm playfully. Funny, I didn't feel a thing, I guess all Pete's training hasn't been doing him much good, Lana thought.  
  
"I guess we should get going, 3rd period is gonna start soon and we don't want you being late now, do we?"  
  
Damn! "I'm meant to be meeting Chloe at the Torch, but right now, I'm just not in the mood to discuss livestock husbandry."  
  
"Just go see her at the end of the day, I'm sure she won't mind. Even if she does, I'm sure she'll forgive you soon enough, Clark." Pete cocked an eyebrow at Clark as he stepped towards the door and a new sexual identity as Clark Kent's 'best friend'. The halls were deserted as they left.  
  
"I guess so." Does Pete say anything that isn't laced with innuendo? "I think I'll just hang out in the Library 'til Lunch."  
  
- Library -  
  
So, lets think this through calmly. Clark can run like the wind - literally, see through stuff and is the embodiment of the saying, 'the heat of passion'. Red meteor rocks ruined our date, so I'm presuming Pete meant that red rocks made Clark kiss Chloe (there really is no other logical explanation for their kissage anyway), cos seeing your date make out with a girl with badger striped hair sure is a turn off.  
  
I think I'm missing the main point here. why am I in Clark's body in the first place? How did I get here, and more importantly, how do I get back? Not that this isn't a nice body to take up residence in, certainly not, but I kind of miss having breasts. and not having to whip it out whenever I need the toilet. I bet Clark did this, he always manages to do something stupid, it was Clark's fault I'm sure. I can't even begin to try and figure this out until I talk to him, or should I say her?  
  
The only responsible thing to do at this point is to try to figure out how to control Clark's powers, at least then I won't expose Clark along with everything else, not that he doesn't deserve a little public ridicule now and again. Maybe it isn't such a great idea to practice fire starting in a Library full of books though. Plus sitting in flannel with an old lady librarian staring at you is not very conducive to naughty thoughts, non- sexy thoughts, definitely, but sexy? No. I've pretty much got running down, so I guess that only leaves one thing.  
  
Lana bends down, picks up Clark's bag and places it on the desk infront of her. To the casual onlooker it would appear that Clark Kent had not been eating nearly enough fibre recently.  
  
Seeing through stuff really is as hard as you would imagine. Practice makes perfect, they say, so practice it is.  
  
- 30 mins later -  
  
Lana let out another short burst of laughter, she was scanning the various students' bags and with every new discovery, she received an angry glare from the hawk-eyed librarian. Her eyes moved across to a couple sat behind some stacks, the guy obviously trying to cop a feel whilst doing his American History homework. Lana scanned down and saw the guy's wallet, complete with little foil packet, as the girl shrunk away from his pathetic attempts at foreplay. Hah! That is sooo not happening buddy! Lana let out an incredulous snicker as the girl finally got up and frisbeed a book into the stunned guy's face, storming out of the Library, her now ex- boyfriend in tow.  
  
The bell rang signalling the start of Clark's lunch period. The time has come to finally confront Clark and see if we can get this whole charade over and done with. Lana got up and made her way to the canteen, mentally preparing herself for what promised to be a very interesting conversation.  
  
Upon her entrance, she immediately saw her body sat facing the other way on the far side of the room. 


	6. Bras and boys don't mix

Part 6: Bras and boys don't mix  
  
Taking a deep breath, Lana strode towards her slouched form. As she reached Clark she smirked. Bending towards his ear, Lana whispered, "Nice choice of underwear"  
  
Clark's head shot around to see himself stood behind him, a shocked expression contorting his usually pretty features. "Uh, hi. Lana?" Lana nodded in recognition. "Well, um."  
  
***Flashback***  
  
Clark entered Lana's room, body covered with a pink towel, face covered with an enormous smile. Showering was fun, definitely fun. Is it wrong to get turned on washing yourself? If it is then throw me in prison for life cos I'm a bad, bad man. Clark had decided that showering with his eyes closed was really not a valid plan and had given in to his fate of lathering Lana's body with soapy bubbles.  
  
Now to turn myself into the beautiful girl I know (intimately) and love. Clark walked over to a chest of draws to hunt out some suitably sexy underwear and started pulling out draws. Tiaras, nope. Riding crops, interesting, why does she keep them in her bedroom?, but nope. Tampo. definitely no! Clark grimaced as he slammed the last draw shut.  
  
Finally, he found what he was looking for. Hmm, nice selection, not in the mood for flowers today, thongs - that could be interesting, don't really wanna go around all day with that shoved up my ass though. Rooting through the draw to find something that met his critical taste, he found a set buried at the back. Now these bring back fond memories, Clark stepped back and held the red lacy combo in the air to admire them fully. These are the ones for me.  
  
Clark slipped the panties on with relative ease, after all he was only used to boxer shorts. The hard part came next, for Clark, sadly, was not the expert on bras. So I put my arms in here and do the clippy thing up at the back? Right, can't be that hard. After many frustrated grunts and finally face planting on the bed, Clark managed to secure the fastenings in place. Wiping the freshly formed sweat from his head, he sat up on the bed. Not how I usually imagine playing with Lana's bra fastenings lying on her bed, certainly never dreamt of putting Lana's bra back ON.  
  
Clark hurried with the rest of Lana's clothes; pink after all was always a safe bet. Something's missing. Clark's eyes cast over Lana's dresser where her make up was set out. This could go really, horribly wrong.oh well.  
  
***End Flashback***  
  
"Mascara didn't come out too badly either, with a little practice, you could be really good, work on the movies maybe?"  
  
Clark shot Lana an evil look. "Lana would you care to explain why I woke up with breasts this morning?" Clark hissed. "And what did you say about my underwear?" Clark added, just hearing what she said.  
  
"They really suit, well, me" Lana replied  
  
"You saw. how?" This was inevitable I guess, in my body she was bound to find out sooner or later. Still, best to play dumb.  
  
"Don't play the fool with me Clark, saying I've been having an interesting morning would be possibly the understatement of the century"  
  
"So, you know huh?"  
  
"Pete was awfully helpful" Lana replied curtly. Clark's not getting away with it this time, no sir.  
  
Clark looked down at his pristine fingernails. "I'm just sorry I wasn't the one to tell you, that you had to find out like this."  
  
"This was undeniably not what I imagined when I thought of you finally trusting me enough to tell me." Maybe I should let up on the guy a little, it was his big secret after all and now I've gone and stolen his thunder  
  
Clark crinkled his nose at the comment, sure, he deserved it, but that didn't mean that was what he wanted to hear. "Don't go doing that now or you might get me all hot and bothered again." Lana started laughing as Clark's jaw went slack. "Come on Clark, crack a smile, that was funny"  
  
Two girls sat at a table a few over from them gave them a funny look; it wasn't every day that you saw Clark Kent and Lana Lang switching names. Clark beckoned Lana closer. "Look we really have to get this whole body switching thing sorted out, how about I go home with you to the farm after school?"  
  
"Fraid not, you have a shift at the Talon and I have to go see Chloe for. something, I'm not entirely sure."  
  
"Don't you think this is a little more important?" Clark glared at Lana.  
  
"I'm not having my staff think of me as a slacker and I already let Chloe down so I think I owe it to her to go see her"  
  
"Alright, I'll come over after that. You think you can keep everything in check until then?"  
  
"Yeah, I should be fine, but if you hear about any fires around the guys' locker room, you'll know who it was." Clark glared at her, "Jeez, ok, ok I won't go scoping out the locker room, though I can't see how you can protest." Clark looked at her quizzically, "I heard about your little exploits from Pete, Clark. Gotta say he didn't give a very good impression of you, I think perverted is probably the best way to sum it up."  
  
I'm gonna kill Pete. "You know I would never."  
  
"Yeah, I know" Lana interrupted, "You may have attained freak status but you're still my lil innocent Clarky" Lana teased, "Although, judging by your underwear choice, I'm thinking you had a little fun of your own this morning." Clark blushed, as did Lana realising what she had been hinting at and feeling embarrassed for it. I really shouldn't have said that.  
  
"How come you're so open all of a sudden? I mean, I know you were into the whole honesty thing before, but not to this extent"  
  
"I reckon it's the change of scenery, I feel less constricted. Plus I figure, I've seen you naked, you've seen me naked, I know your secret, there's not really all that much left to hide." Well that's not entirely true. 


	7. Seduction

Part 7: Seduction  
  
Clark didn't stop by when he agreed to, playing hard to get now is he? Pete said that Clark wasn't in the mood to discuss my article but that he would come by after school. All the better, no people around to distract and no bells to interrupt. I don't want to make a fool out of myself though, I couldn't stand the rejection if Clark didn't want me.like that's gonna happen! We all KNOW Clark still has feelings for me and him kissing me yesterday was unequivocal proof of that fact. I'm a hard girl to get over, you know.  
  
Chloe walked over to a small mirror fixed to the wall, adjusted her hair and practiced pouting 'sexily' before setting herself down on what she had recently renamed "the sofa of luuuurrvve". After a few minutes of waiting, there came a knock at the door.  
  
"Hey Chloe, sorry I bailed on you before but I'm here now." Sadly. I just need to get this done so I can go see Clark  
  
"Just shut the door and come over here big boy" Chloe only faintly mouthing the last part.  
  
What did she just say?! Must be my imagination, it's been a long day. As Lana turned around to shut the door, Chloe discretely hiked her skirt up that little bit higher and tugged her shirt down that little bit lower. "So Chloe, what was it you wanted to discuss?"  
  
You ripping off all my clothes and taking me right here, right now. "Just some farm stuff, raising animals, meteors. The usual" replied Chloe nonchalantly.  
  
Chloe reached out and touched Lana's arm. Lana looked down at the invading hand but dismissed it; she's just being friendly. "Well, I don't think we've had any two headed calves if that's what you're wondering about." At least I think so.  
  
Chloe giggled girlishly, "Clark you're so funny" Chloe squeaked, her roaming hand making its way to pat Clark lightly on the chest.  
  
"Uhuh" did she go on some medication that I don't know about, cos this isn't the Chloe I know?  
  
"Well, I heard from my source at the abattoir that recently the tails of cows had been increasing in length, I was puzzled at first but then I realised it could only mean one thing," What? So, I looked into it, I thought it might make an interesting story.  
  
Lana stared at Chloe waiting for her to continue.  
  
"Meteor rocks, of course! I figured that somehow the uterus lining of pregnant cows gets infected by meteor particles which in turn stimulates the tail cells in the foetus and, wham! Longer tails!" Chloe leaned closer, wedging her elbows into her sides to push her breasts out further and gently running her hand along Clark's thigh. "I just thought that you might want to know" Chloe added huskily, leaning into Clark's ear. He's so gonna want me for this.  
  
AARRRGGGGHHHH!!! CHLOE'S HITTING ON ME!!!!! Calm, be calm. Lana diverted her eyes as she tried to think if a plausible way out of the situation, only to be greeted by an eyeful of Chloe's over-exposed chest. Whoa, check out the chloeavage! I'll have to ask her what push-up bra that is when this is over, cos let me tell you she is not naturally that well endowed. If only she realised that her hand was skimming towards the crotch of her housemate, not the boy toy of her fantasies. And why the hell is she trying to turn me on with stories of infected uteri and elongated tails? I could give her the tails at a really long stretch, but the rest? I guess it is Clark but still, I don't think he's that strange.  
  
Noticing the scared look in Clark's eyes, Chloe got up off the couch, trailing her hand back down his leg as she went and made her way towards her desk. I think I took things a little too fast, maybe the cattle theory wasn't such a good approach.ooh, ooh, I know the perfect thing!  
  
Lana sat shifting uncomfortably as Chloe reached into a draw and pulled something out. Chloe spun around, unwrapping what looked like a red lollipop. Slowly she slipped the sweet confection into her mouth and licked it seductively.  
  
This moment can surely not get any worse. Oh no wait, I spoke too soon. Now her cheeks have hollowed and she's sucking it harder, dragging it slowly in and out of her mouth. Oh joy. At least I'm not feeling hot, Clark has good taste I see, and if luck holds out, I shouldn't have any problems with Clark Jr. popping up to say hi. I have to stop this, it's like watching a particularly bloody train wreck, Chloe just can't pull off sexy or even slutty, it's just plain painful.  
  
At the sight of Clark getting up, Chloe removed the lollipop from her mouth with a small pop sound. "Where you going?" Chloe waved the sticky sweet to the side of her head, not noticing she was picking up strands of hair with every movement until it was securely entwined with the whole left side of her hair.  
  
Smooth, Chloe, real smooth. I think now's my chance to make a quick exit.  
  
Chloe looked up from her hair, just in time to see Clark dashing through the door. She crumpled in a heap on the floor, bawling enthusiastically, "Why Clark? Why don't you love me? I'm perfect for you!" Chloe just lay there, sprawled across the floor of the Torch, calling to her lover, mascara running down her face, red lollipop stuck in her hair.  
  
When she thought that she was a safe distance from the office, for she didn't want to be heard by Chloe, or for that matter mauled, Lana stopped and doubled-over with laughter. That has to have been the most scaring moment of my life to date. And I thought Clark was strange! 


	8. Ejacuvision

Part 8: Ejacu-vision  
  
- The Loft -  
  
"Can you think of anything you did last night that might have sparked our little adventure?"  
  
Clark stood, hands on hips; he was not in the best of moods. His shift at the Talon hadn't gone as smoothly as he would have wished, or at least Lana had guessed as much when he stomped up the stairs to the Loft, coffee stains marking his pink shirt.  
  
"For the last time, No!" What's his problem? I realise that running a coffee shop is tiring but he's acting like this is all my fault! "Clark would you just calm down a little? I'm sure if we think things through calmly we'll have it figured out in no time." We better, otherwise in a few days Clark will truly know what it's like to be a woman, I don't even want to think about what he'll be like then, if this is him as me normally.  
  
Clark glared at Lana, "Pretty please, for me." Lana gazed affectionately back into Clark's eyes  
  
"You know, that doesn't work nearly as well when you use my face to do it through."  
  
They both laughed as Lana fought off the blush surfacing on her cheeks. Damn! That's my sure-fire method of getting Clark to do anything I want for me out the window.  
  
"I guess you know my secret, huh. So, can you think of anything unusual that you did last night? I mean for you, I'm not grading on a curve here." We could be here for a very long time otherwise.  
  
"I would have to say no also." I can see this taking a very long time. Although being Lana does give you a whole new perspective; I never realised how many guys try and grab her ass while she's waitressing! And at school, I swear she must get half the student body asking her out on a date daily. There were some good guys as well; I have to admit I was a little tempted. Even a few of the girls asked me. This of course begs the question, why does Lana never accept? Methinks I need to make my presence felt a little more when I get back to having my usual muscular exterior, mark my territory and all that good stuff.  
  
"Well what are we going to do then, stay like this indefinitely?" Being Clark does give a girl a whole new perspective though; I never realised how much of a desperate loser Chloe is until now! She's not the only one, all day at school I had girls come up and flirt with me. Not bad girls either, pretty, intelligent, nice girls, even one of the football players, who shall remain nameless to protect his identity (he said something weird about how much he respected me and Pete for being so open about our 'relationship' or some crap and wished he could do the same). This of course begs the question, why does Clark never accept? I think I have some work to do when I finally get my feminine wiles back.  
  
"I truly don't know. I'll mention that I was thinking about the possibilities of body swapping to Chloe, I'm sure she'll go and research it without much prompting - she's always on the look out for a story"  
  
Good luck with that. "I guess so, I wouldn't put too much faith in her right now, she seems pretty absorbed by cows' tails."  
  
Clark looked at Lana quizzically, "Don't ask"  
  
"I won't." Clark got up from the couch and started walking to the stairs, Lana following behind. "Seeing as we're going to be like this for a while I think you'll need how to learn how to control my abilities."  
  
"I agree. I've got running and x-ray vision down but I've been having a few problems with the flamey eye thing."  
  
"Heat vision?"  
  
"If that's what floats your boat" I still much prefer Ejacu-vision. "Namely, I can't do it."  
  
"Really? For me it wasn't that hard"  
  
"Yeah well, not everyone has a dirty mind like you Mr. Kent. The only time it happened was when I saw you, or should I say me? I'm still not entirely comfortable with that concept." The couple rounded the side of the barn to where the basketball court was.  
  
"Alright, see that fence post over there? I want you to focus on that and think about.stuff"  
  
"Stuff?" I know full well what he means; I just wanna hear him say it. I'm just evil like that.  
  
"Yeah, you know, things that make you happy" why is she making me do this?  
  
"Like horse riding?" Hehe.  
  
I hope not. "No, things that make you excited"  
  
"Like birthday presents?" I'm cruel.  
  
"Things that make you horny, alright?!" Clark finally snapped at Lana, causing her to laugh as the blush grew furiously on his face.  
  
"Ahh, I'm sorry, it was just too tempting" Lana apologised, still laughing.  
  
After calming from her giggles, Lana turned to face the fence post and started to concentrate on the thoughts in her head. Hmm, Clark in a wet t- shirt.Clark with no t-shirt. Clark in a leather jacket, Clark kissing me in a leather jacket, more Clark kissing. Damn, why isn't this working? Usually by this point I at least feel something.I'll just have to think of more Clark.  
  
A short while later, Lana broke from her reverie. "Uh, Clark, this isn't really working for me"  
  
"You just have to try harder"  
  
"Clark! I believe me, if what I just thought of won't do it, nothing will!" Well naked Clark might but not in the context of waking up as said naked guy.  
  
"Ok jeez, don't bite my head off. You said the only time it happened was when you saw me."  
  
"Yeah I got the feeling that there was still part of you in here because otherwise I'm more in love with myself than some of the bitchier cheerleaders think."  
  
"Well, if the Clark side of you is still controlling that aspect of my abilities then there is one thing I can absolutely guarantee will work."  
  
"Go on then, spit it out." This could be mightily weird.  
  
It's now or never, make or break time, just do it. Clark reached up around Lana's neck and kissed her. Lana was shocked at first, seeing her own face approach hers for an intimate dance but slowly eased into it, her hands slipping around his waist and pulling him closer.  
  
Oh. My. God. She's kissing me back! She's kissing me back! Clark was doing mental cartwheels around his head.  
  
Suddenly he felt a sharp force pushing away on his chest. Lana looked angry.  
  
"Clark, get away from me!" was all that he heard as his heart stopped beating. 


	9. Stirring

Part 9: Stirring  
  
Clark looked into Lana's glowing amber eyes and knew what was going to happen. He willed his legs to move but remained transfixed by the two spheres of golden passion, seemingly drawing him into their fiery embrace.  
  
Just as the two tracks of immeasurable heat left Lana's eyes, she managed to divert her gaze to a spot over Clark's left shoulder, scorching the ground.  
  
"You have to control it!" Clark shouted, Lana's head turning instinctively towards the noise. Shit! That wasn't a good idea. Clark ducked as a trail of flames erupted behind where his head previously existed.  
  
"Try and make it stop" Clark called as he dashed to a different spot in case Lana's head slipped again. After a few final splutters of flame, Lana's eyes returned to their normal shade.  
  
"Would it be at all possible to give me a little warning next time?! Maybe so I can not nearly burn my original body into a glowing heap of embers!" Does that guy have a death wish or something? Burn scars are not sexy and I do not fancy returning to a body with butt skin grafted to my face!  
  
"Should have really been a little more careful, huh? At least it worked though." She kissed me back! Yippee!  
  
"Yeah, it worked alright." Weird.  
  
"Why don't you test it again? Focus on the fencepost and think about what made it happen last time and then try to make it stop again."  
  
Lana obediently turned to face the fencepost and focused. The wooded pole erupted into a towering inferno and Lana turned back to face Clark. "I'm a quick learner you know" Lana smiled at Clark.  
  
"So you wanna test that you can control it?" Clark asked nonchalantly. Please say yes. Sucking face with your own face is weird but it makes it worthwhile to know that Lana is the one doing the kissing back.  
  
"Uh, ok then." Just forget it's your body, just think of Clark, Clark's the one doing the kissing, not you, just Clark.  
  
They edged together slowly, eyes gazing into each other. Lana reached her hand out and touched Clark's face, her head descending towards his. Clark wrapped his arms around her back as their lips brushed tentatively.  
  
Just think of Clark.  
  
Just think of Lana.  
  
Quickly the kiss grew more passionate, a hunger awoken inside both of them. Clark pulled Lana flush against him as he felt a special down low tickle and as their mouths opened, both in an invitation to the other, the heat that was growing in the pit of Lana's stomach transferred into a stirring not previously experienced by the female of the species.  
  
Lana slowly broke away from Clark, eyes still closed, slightly out of breath. "I think we should stop."  
  
Clark's eyes grew saddened at this but realised the reason when his eyes solemnly drifted to the floor, negotiating Lana's pelvic region.  
  
"Honestly, she can master heat vision in 5 minutes but get her to kiss someone and her resolve goes right out the window."  
  
A blush to challenge all blushes spread across Lana's face. I can't believe it. Seriously. Who thought I had so little self-control? I think I might die, I can't believe I got one after just one kiss. Embarrassment does not even begin to cover what I'm felling right now.  
  
"It's ok Lana it's perfectly natural, after all, who could resist me?" Clark joked. "Chalk it up to life experience, exploring different cultures. Just think, how many women can say that they've had an erection? It just makes Lana Lang more unique." She got one, from me!! I'm so good. In his head Clark began swinging his arms in enthusiastic circles chanting 'Go Clarky! Go Clarky!'  
  
"Jee, thanks. Not really the kind of unique I was looking for." I guess Clark isn't the only strange one anymore. Now for the ritual staring contest, who will look away first? Like so many other things, it's just not the same the other way around, I admit I miss staring into his eyes but unless I go find a mirror, I might not be doing that for a while. I think it's about time I cut the sexual tension around here with the proverbial knife.  
  
"Clark, I think you should be getting back to the Sullivans'. It's getting late and we don't want to draw attention to our behaviour recently."  
  
Clark nodded in agreement. "Alright then. If you're in a rush tomorrow, remember heat vision makes quick work of toast."  
  
"I will. You just remember to cleanse and moisturise before you go to bed, I don't want to be having any pimples when I return" Lana waved her finger at Clark pseudo sternly.  
  
They both laughed. As Clark turned to make his way down the lane, Lana called to him. "You want me to walk you home? It is the only gentlemanly thing to do."  
  
Clark smiled broadly at Lana. "Sure, that would be great. Before I forget, thanks for not reducing me to a pile of ashes."  
  
"My pleasure." Lana extended her arm and took his hand in hers. 


	10. Shower

Part 10: Shower  
  
Clark and Lana walked hand in hand down the country lane, corn swaying in the breeze in the surrounding fields.  
  
"So what's it like having powers?" The walk home was getting too quiet so Lana decided to make small talk.  
  
"Scary but cool. It sucks that I can't do a lot of stuff regular kids do cos I might hurt someone by accident but I guess saving peoples lives is a thing most teenagers can't say that they've done. What do you think?"  
  
"Different. I mean I like it for now but I don't think I could stand hiding forever." Hint, hint.  
  
"Definitely the worst part, not being able to tell the ones you care about," Clark looked up into Lana's eyes, "the ones you love." Prepare to be shot down.  
  
Lana just smiled at Clark and stroked the back of his hand with her thumb. Does this mean what I think it means?! Clark Kent loves me?! ME? Loves. Me. Of course, this is still Clark Kent, so naturally he probably won't tell me straight until I bug him about it for 6 months.  
  
Lana opened her mouth to say something in reply but a brilliant streak of light across the sky caught her attention.  
  
"Wow, isn't it beautiful?" Lana wondered in awe.  
  
Clark reluctantly turned around, upset that their moment was lost. "Yeah, shooting stars are pretty. I heard that there was meant to be a shower tonight."  
  
Lana looked across the stars admiring the constellations but saw something that puzzled her. "Clark what's that star over there by Orion?" Lana gestured towards a particularly bright light in the sky.  
  
"I don't know, I've not seen it before." How could I have not seen it before? I stargaze every night and yet don't notice the brightest star in the sky? "Lana, is it just me or is it,"  
  
Lana interrupted, "Getting bigger? It's not just you."  
  
There was a brilliant flash of light and a booming sound as the light started getting bigger much, much faster. The star whizzed across the sky to the west of them, getting ever closer to its point of impact.  
  
"Oh Shit" they both muttered to themselves quietly.  
  
"Come on! We have to go see what it is!" Clark shouted to Lana, his hand tugging on hers in urgency to follow him. Lana started jogging after him.  
  
This would go a lot quicker if I. Lana reached out and scooped Clark up into her arms and ran as fast as she could in the direction of the light.  
  
They came to a halt 100m from the LuthorCorp housing development as the flaming ball crashed to the earth, leaving a shredded a house in its wake. Lana quickly picked up speed again as she searched the cul-de-sac for the flaming house, seemingly knowing where her feet would take her. 


	11. Mi casa, su casserole

Part 11: "Mi casa, su casserole"  
  
Lana dropped Clark to the ground in shock as she came to a halt outside the inferno previously known as the Sullivan home. Clark rolled onto his side to see what Lana stood transfixed by, joining her in a state of shock. Clark quickly pushed himself to his feet and tried to get Lana's attention.  
  
"Lana! Lana!" Clark yelled to make himself heard above the roar of the flames. "You have to go in and see if there's anyone in there!"  
  
"What the fuck? You want me to go in there?! I'll be killed!"  
  
"No you won't! The fire can't hurt your alien skin, nothing can!"  
  
Lana swivelled around to face Clark. ALIEN?!!! Clark's an ALIEN? Little green man ALIEN? Lana pushed it to the back of her mind, now isn't the time to be thinking about this.  
  
Judging by the look on her face, she was yet to find that part out. "Come on you have to go! You can't be scared, you'll be fine but Chloe and her dad won't if you don't hurry up!" Clark started physically pushing Lana towards the front door.  
  
Lana started to run towards the house, pulling the door off its hinges as she reached it. She searched the downstairs rooms for any sign of life. Nothing. In a fit of morbid curiosity she reached out and passed her arm through some flames licking up the wall. Nothing.  
  
Stairs collapsed beneath her feet as she ran her way up to the next floor. Bursting into Chloe's room, she found her crouched in a corner badly burnt, her screams barely audible. Lana rushed over to Chloe and picked her up, trying to simultaneously comfort her and rush her out of the house.  
  
Despite the situation, Lana couldn't help but let out and inward chuckle when she touched Chloe's hair and found it still to be sticky and knotted.  
  
Seeing the stairs destroyed, she ran back into Chloe's room. Lana looked down at Chloe. Good she's passed out. Lana ran over and shattered the window with a fist and jumped out, landing on her back to break Chloe's fall. Nothing. I don't feel anything.  
  
Lana rolled Chloe over onto her back and shook her in an attempt to revive her. After a minute she coughed and spluttered and opened her eyes.  
  
"Chloe! Thank God you're alive!" Chloe smiled weakly at her rescuer. "Chloe, is your dad home?"  
  
"No, he's at a conference" was all she could wheeze out before she passed out again from the smoke in her lungs.  
  
Relieved that she wouldn't have to go back into the house she slumped on the scorched grass. Is this what Clark feels like every time he saves someone? Scared? Petrified? Terrified? Having to hide who I really was, I don't think I could handle the responsibility. Being Clark Kent is not how I imagined it would be.  
  
Suddenly feeling the air rush out of her lungs, she frantically reached up and clutched at her throat, struggling to her feet and spinning around to see Clark fighting the same battle across the grass on the pavement. In a flash of psychedelic colours, they simultaneously collapsed.  
  
She felt like she was floating in a momentary limbo before she came crashing back to reality.  
  
Lana tentatively opened her eyes to see what had happened. Looking down she saw pink, not plaid and two rounded mounds where indestructible pecks would have been only seconds ago.  
  
A smile spread across her face as she felt the immense heat of the still blazing fire and burst out laughing. "Well about time too" 


	12. Fertiliser

Part 12: Fertiliser  
  
Lana knocked on the door to Chloe's hospital room.  
  
She had not seen Clark since the previous day when the paramedics checked them over and told them they could go home. Clark had offered her the spare bedroom at his house seeing as she wouldn't be sleeping in her usual abode for a while but she had declined the offer saying she needed a little break from the craziness that is Clark Kent's life. Lana saw that this clearly upset him but told him that she would stop by and see him later on.  
  
"Hey there Chloe, you feeling any better?" Looks like she's the one that might need a butt skin graft.  
  
"A bit. I have to keep these cool packs on for a few days to reduce the risk of scaring." I heard some doctors outside my room talking about experimental skin grafts, possibly something about my butt?  
  
"I'm sure you'll look just great when they're done with you here" Lana comforted. This is mightily weird. I don't even know what to say to her, she practically had her hand down my pants just yesterday.  
  
"I like your flowers"  
  
"Me too. My favourites are the roses Pete gave to me. He said I'd like them on two accounts, firstly cos they're pretty and secondly cos they were grown with some fertiliser derived from meteor rocks, they're meant to glow in the dark or something. He said that even my flowers should be meteor freaks." Pete's just so thoughtful.  
  
Looking across at the roses brought back a painful memory for Lana,  
  
***Flashback***  
  
"Ah Crap!" I utter as my finger shoots to my lips. Nice way to show how much you care Clark. Give the girl a rose with thorns on. I personally doubt he was going for the symbolic 'take the good along with the bad' meaning, more like the 'Clark = insensitive dumbass' meaning. The blood seems to have stopped trickling from my finger as I hold it up to the light to regard the most recent scar courtesy of our good friend Mr. Kent.  
  
"Sometimes I just wish I knew what it's like to be Clark Kent" I whisper to the deserted Talon. "Guess I'll never know."  
  
***End Flashback***  
  
Lana looks down at the short cut on the tip of her index finger and then mouths the words she said again.  
  
So it really was my fault then, not Clark. Didn't see that coming.  
  
Lana strolled over to the bouquet and started inspecting it.  
  
"Lana, what are you doing?"  
  
"Just checking for thorns, I don't want you to go hurting yourself" or making any off-hand wishes.  
  
Satisfied that the roses were thorn free Lana wanted to leave. "I should be going, I have a shift at the Talon." Liar, you just want to get away from her. It's not entirely lying; it's not a shift at the Talon I have to leave for, however it does involve my business partner. I sure am glad Clark didn't find out about that.  
  
"Bye then Lana"  
  
Lana turns away and reaches for the door before turning back. "I nearly forgot, I bought you a present."  
  
"Oh yeah?"  
  
"Yeah" Lana retrieves something small from her jacket pocket and hands it to a shocked Chloe. "Clark said it was your favourite flavour."  
  
She's my friend, yet I do this to her. I think 'friend' is a little kind, after all what type of friend goes and tries to seduce the guy she knows you like, the guy who you were heartbroken over because of a trashed date only the day before? Answer: an ex-friend  
  
Lana bent down and whispered to her ear, "They did a great job with your hair as well."  
  
Pulling back, Chloe saw the knowing look in Lana's eyes. Shit, she knows and I don't think I'm going to get the same 'didn't recognise her' treatment as before.  
  
"If you don't want a special edition of the Torch to be printed then you'll stay away from him, understand? We can all stay 'friends' just as long as you remember that he's mine and that your deluded crush is not going to stand between us anymore so keep your hands to yourself and get over it." Lana almost growled the last part. It's about time someone told that whiney, self-delusional cry baby the truth. "Just in case we're unclear, he doesn't love you and never has." Way to twist the knife. I think that I was maybe a little over-zealous with the truth sprinkles but at least now we know where we stand. Hehe, I like being a bitch sometimes, makes a change. Bwah, Bwah, Bwahahahaha! Stop it.  
  
"We're clear." Holy crap, who knew Lana could be so.so un-Lanalike? Does this mean I'm Lana's bitch now?  
  
Lana nodded and exited, leaving a stunned Chloe in her wake.  
  
Getting into her truck Lana looked especially pleased with herself. Now it's time to have my cake and eat it.  
  
- Luthor Mansion -  
  
Lana strolled into Lex's study to find him sat on a couch infront of a roaring fire.  
  
"You're late" Lex remarked as he got up to greet her, sly smile etched across his face.  
  
"Sorry, I had some pressing business to attend to." Pressing a pillow over Chloe's face kind of business.  
  
"That's alright," Lex reached down, grabbed her by her hips and pulled her roughly against him, leaning down to whisper in her ear, "I'm sure we can find a way for you to make it up to me."  
  
Lex is such a great guy; I just don't know how I didn't realise it before.  
  
As romantic music picked up in the background and the lights dimmed, Lana's arms wound around Lex's neck and their faces edged slowly together. Lana breathed in the heady scent of his cologne and splayed her hands across his back as Lex's hands moved slightly lower.  
  
Lex and Lana's eyelids fluttered shut as his head dipped lower. 


	13. Tango

Part 13: Tango  
  
Lex and Lana's eyelids fluttered shut as his head dipped lower and rested on Lana's shoulder.  
  
"Thank you for doing this for me Lex" Lana said almost dreamily.  
  
"It's been my pleasure."  
  
Lana's head snapped back suddenly to look Lex in the eyes, in a very excited voice, "I mean, who else would agree to teach me to ballroom dance?"  
  
Their bodies shifted into a perfect dancing poise, "Well I think Clark would if you asked him"  
  
"I know but I want to have both my feet intact when I'm finished, plus I don't even think Clark knows how to ballroom dance." Really all I want to do is surprise him with my amazing dancing skills whenever Lex decides to invite us to some function in Metropolis next. I'm sick of looking like a fool next to all those society snobs. Just my little secret.  
  
They began moving in time with the music playing in the background. "How were you thinking I could make up being late to you then?"  
  
"I thought we could maybe branch out to the Tango for a little fun." Lex smiled 'sexily' at Lana  
  
Lana looked at Lex shocked. What the hell? Isn't the Tango the dance of love?! Why's he trying to look sexy, the spotlight glinting off his shiny head would counteract his most valiant efforts anyway? Lex.me, UGH! That is just so gross! I should've known he was after something; Lex never does anything without a hidden agenda. Paedophile. What does he think I am, jail bait?! That complete bastard! He's one of Clark's best friends, yet he would go after the girl he likes? Thinks just because he's rich and powerful, he can have anything he wants, or anyone he wants. Egomaniacal, chauvinistic pig! I'll show him!  
  
Lana pulled Lex closer, Lex giving out a small groan of appreciation.  
  
"You like that Lex?"  
  
"Oh yeah" Lex nodded enthusiastically.  
  
"I'll bet you'll like this even more"  
  
Lana's hand skimmed down his chest, slowly towards his crotch. In a burst of speed, she grabbed his balls in a death grip and twisted as hard as she could. Lex screamed in agony. After a few seconds Lana's grip relented, satisfied she had caused him sufficient pain.  
  
Just as Lex's expression calmed, she brought her knee up to replace her hand causing Lex to scream again and keel over on the floor. Lana walked calmly to the door, turning just before she shut the door behind her.  
  
"I'm going to see my boyfriend Clark now." Ok, so he's not my boyfriend just yet but he will be soon enough. "Hope you have a nice evening, you might want to get some ice on that." Before it swells and turns purple and blue. I don't think Lex will be getting any any time soon. Hopefully he'll have second thoughts the next time he offers to teach anyone the Tango.he was so just using that as a euphemism. 


	14. Trust

Part 14: Trust  
  
The sun beat down on the Kent Farm as Lana approached in her truck. Pulling up in the dirt outside the barn, Lana got out and strolled inside.  
  
"Hey Clark! You in here?"  
  
Clark appeared from a stall, hair ruffled and sprinkled with straw, minus a shirt and slightly flushed.  
  
"I'm not even gonna ask what you were doing in there"  
  
Clark ran a hand through his hair and laughed lightly. "I was just finishing my chores but now I'm free to entertain you, Miss. Lang. Want to come up?"  
  
"Sure, I was thinking there are a few things we need to talk about."  
  
Great. This is where she says I'm a good friend but the alien thing freaks her out too much to be anything more. Wonderful.  
  
"Uhuh, like what?" Clark guided Lana up the stairs and sat on the couch.  
  
"Why we switched back."  
  
"And why did we switch back, Lana?" Or for that matter, why did we switch in the first place?  
  
"We switched back cos I realised something, something that I needed to understand."  
  
"Which was." She's getting cryptic on me.  
  
"I realised what it truly is like to be Clark Kent-"  
  
"It's the alien thing isn't it? You think I'm a freak." I wonder if I ground up some meteor rocks and ate them I'd die.  
  
"If you let me finish that last sentence, my rehearsed speech was going to go 'and before you get all paranoid I'm not going to call you a freak', so chill your boots. Why would I want to call you a freak anyway? Then I would just be saying I was a freak too, cos now I've been an alien and aside from the rather random powers, being an alien isn't all that different to being human." That's a rather big aside.  
  
"So you think I'm normal?" Clark leapt up from the couch excited and twirled Lana around in the air.  
  
Lana's face grew serious. "Clark put me down I'm not finished yet"  
  
"Oh. Sorry." Clark grew silent. She knows the truth and appears to have accepted it, so what's wrong? Clark shuffled backwards to perch on the couch as Lana started to pace about the Loft.  
  
"I'm still pissed that you didn't have the courage to tell me yourself." Lana looked over into Clark's eyes.  
  
Shit.  
  
"I'm pissed that you thought of me as such a shallow friend that I'd reject you once I knew the truth."  
  
Shit.  
  
"I'm pissed that you didn't have faith that I'd be strong enough to accept you and keep your secret."  
  
Shit.  
  
The tension in the Loft thickened with every diatribe, Lana's tone growing sterner and voice getting louder.  
  
"I'm sorry, it was for your safety and I-"  
  
"But most of all I'm pissed," Lana's demeanour changed from aggressive to coy, a small smile creeping across her face, "because if you told me sooner we could have been doing this for a lot longer."  
  
Lana sauntered across the Loft and wrapped her arms around a shocked and still shirtless Clark Kent. He stood up into her embrace and snaked his arms around her slender frame as she leaned her lips towards his.  
  
Burying a hand in her hair, Clark pulled her deeper into the kiss. Lana's hands roamed across his bare chest, delighting in the feeling of his exposed muscles as the kiss grew more passionate, until Lana broke away, laughing.  
  
"I prefer it this way round, don't you?" Don't have to worry about Clark Jr. anymore. well, at least not in the same way.  
  
Clark nodded as Lana swirled her fingers in light patterns along the back of his neck.  
  
"I meant what I said you know, about trust and having faith in me. But you also have to know that having trust also has rewards." Lana leaned in to kiss him again, "which now I hope we can both enjoy." Lana smiled at Clark, starting up another of their famous staring contests.  
  
Oh no, we're not getting into the staring again, gotta stop this before it becomes a habit. This relationship is about taking action, not staring. "So, I learnt a lot being you, including why you made out with Chloe," I don't see that happening again any time soon, isn't Clark's blush cute, "but what did you learn being me?"  
  
"Well, not much, basic stuff really"  
  
"Go on, I'm curious." When he says stuff like that, it just makes me more nervous.  
  
"You should always grind coffee beans before you put them in a coffeemaker."  
  
"How many times have you seen me make coffee at the Talon? And still you don't know that" Lana mocked incredulously  
  
"You have a penchant for ballroom dancing"  
  
Lana stood in shock. When did he speak to Lex? How does he know?  
  
"I was looking over the security tapes for the Talon and saw you dancing with chairs as you tidied up for the night."  
  
"You found out my deep, dark secret, I Lana Lang ballroom dance for fun. Embarrassing, huh?"  
  
"Nah, not really. I think it's cute, maybe you could teach me so you'd have a partner?"  
  
"Sounds like a plan" a much better plan than dancing with Lex. I think I just felt myself shiver. "That it?"  
  
"Not quite." Clark slipped his hand up the back of Lana's shirt and pinched the fastening on her bra causing it to open. "Bras are far harder to put on than take off."  
  
Lana's arms flew over her chest protectively as Clark laughed at her growing blush. I know I should be mad at him for that but I kinda like Clark when he's being a bit cocky. It's just so much more interesting than when he's all serious and responsible all the time.  
  
Once she had secured her bra in place again, she struck out and hit Clark on the chest.  
  
"Ow! That hurt!"  
  
"Stop lying ya big baby" Clark stuck his bottom lip out and made a sad puppy dog face, "Come on, I stuck your arm through flames and fell out of a window onto your back and didn't feel anything. Do you feel anything Clark?"  
  
"I may be able to stick my arms through fire and not be burned," Clark pulled Lana closer, "but you touch me and it feels like I'm going to burst into flames." Clark bent down again to meet Lana's already rising lips.  
  
Ah, that was sweet, I think I may have to go puke in a minute but it was a nice sentiment.  
  
This time it was Clark who broke away from the kiss. He moved over to her ear, whispering sexily, "By the way, nice choice of underwear"  
  
Lana giggled, "I thought you might like them"  
  
"Too right"  
  
"I love you, you know, you little perv, special abilities and all." I think they're kinda sexy actually.  
  
"Love you too" Clark kissed the sensitive patch of skin behind Lana's earlobe, kissing back across her cheek to find her lips.  
  
After a few minutes of passionate kissing, Lana felt Clark's roaming hand slip up her back again, destination unchanged. Lana reached round behind her back and slapped his hand. "Bad Clarky" she managed to get out in breaths between kisses.  
  
Now if Clark offered to teach me to Tango, I don't think I'd refuse.  
  
The End.  
  
**  
  
Thank you all for reading! A review would be wonderful if you'd be so kind. 


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